(Inspired from https://www.abc4.com/news/southern-utah/roads-not-renamed-after-trump)
In a move that’s shaking the very asphalt of Southern Utah’s identity, local officials have declared—loud and clear—that no, the roads won’t be getting a Trump makeover. Forget “Make Roads Great Again” because, apparently, the only renovations happening around here are the ones on the street signs already in place.
Residents with a penchant for political rebranding might have hoped for a glittering new “Trump Boulevard” or perhaps even a “Bigly Byway,” but the powers that be seem more committed to keeping things as traditionally mundane as “Main Street” and “Scenic Route.” The decision was made with all the gravitas of a small-town council meeting, where the idea of renaming roads after a polarizing former president was dismissed as both potentially confusing for tourists and possibly an invitation to spontaneous debates at every intersection.
Critics argued that embracing a Trump-themed roadway could have added some much-needed pizzazz to the local geography, while supporters of the status quo insisted that Southern Utah’s charm lies in its ability to remain blissfully indifferent to national political theatrics. In the end, the verdict was in: the only thing on the move here is the local government’s determination to keep our road names as historically uncontroversial as possible.
So, while some might have been dreaming of navigating “Trump Turnpike,” Southern Utah residents will continue their daily commute along roads that are, alas, as free of hyperbolic presidential branding as a desert is of palm trees.
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